WTF: Stories Behind The Photos

Posted on February 26th, 2010 by Jean

Hubby forwarded me an email, and after laughing for a few minutes, I realized I HAD to find out the story behind these WTF photos. (WTF photos are pictures in which something seems amiss.) Let’s dig deeper, shall we?
 
First up is… skeleton-tattoo man.

 
Meet Rick Murray, Zombie. Rick is tattooing himself into a zombie. He has 24 hours and $3,863.66 USD invested into his project so far. Future goals include shading in the grey of his brain tattoo, possibly tattooing the whites of his eyes black (if no one has gone blind from this procedure in five years), removing his nose and one ear. Although you might not believe it, Rick does have his limits. He has decided not to tattoo his penis in the image of Jesus on the cross. The crown of thorns would have been a bitch. For more of Rick’s story and photos, check out BizarreMag.com’s Zombie Boy article.
 
 
Next up, a toy I’d love to own!

 
Can I shave the baby? This photo literally made me laugh out loud. The baby doll was never sold, but is a 1995 progressive art piece. This work and others can be seen at Raster Art of Warsaw, Poland.
 
 
Here is a combo. A two-fer, if you will.

 
Where do I start? This spunky, young woman refers to herself as Amber Amputee. She has a MySpace page, and has blogged about this photo. Yes, that is her, but Sewer Horse is photoshopped. As easy as it was to find Amber, Sewer Horse remains a mystery.
 
 
Ready for more juicy goodness? Check out this Romeo.

 
More please! He’s bold and he has weapons. Turns out, he’s just like you and me, albiet harrier. He posed for this photo and other (saucier) ones for his wife, who released them to the world-wide-web. Don’tcha hate it when your personal photos are exposed? This sexy man-beast is a husband, father, and MySpacer. He has graciously kept his profile public, allowing us to view his photos and artwork created by fans. You can check him out at Micromancer. I don’t know him personally, so please don’t tell him Jean sent you.
 
Say it Ain’t So, Superman!

 
Able to WHAT? Photoshopped, and no one is taking credit for it.
 
As if I haven’t provided you with enough links today, here is one more. Check out Picture Is Unrelated for more funny (some adult) photos. If there are any you’d like me to investigate, let me know.
 
• Are you in any WTF photos?
• Where SHOULD tattoo man have drawn the line?
• Would you rather shave the baby or shave Micromancer?!

Tags: photos, Photoshop, tattoo, WTF, zombie

The Frenchman Who Abandoned Me (Updated)

Posted on February 20th, 2010 by Jean

This blog was originally posted on MySpace October 3, 2008. It was my submission to the now defunct Group Blogging Experience (GBE). The hostess, Alicia, would suggest a word each week, and participants would define the word with stories, photos, poems, etc. The blogs were linked by Alicia, and new friendships were formed.
 
An update to this story has been added at the bottom. Thanks for reading!
 
GBE 56 – ABANDON
 
We hired a carpenter.

Not really him.

 
He’s french.
 

Not too stereotypical.

 
He has done work for us in the past.
 

Mantel, tiled fireplace, entertainment center, and bar.

 
Yesterday he swung by the house to begin installing our new entertainment center. All the pieces were brought into the room. We thought, in a few hours, everything would be in place. But no. He had to go pick up his son, and promised to be back.
 

Don't believe him.

 
Hours passed. He did not return.
 
His son called.
 

You did not know I was so fluent in French.

 
Mon Dieu! No, we don’t know where your father is.
 
Then his cat phoned.
 

Have you ever tried consoling a cat over the phone?

 
Day turned into night. The carpenter never returned.
 
If anyone can read these plans…
 

Zee plans.

 
… and figure out how to complete the project…
 

Install the secret door so we can hide behind the t.v.

 
… we would be forever grateful.
 
F.Y.I. ~ The last time he abandoned the project, we found him in front of a slot machine.
 

Sacre Bleu! You 'ave found me!

 
 

---

 
UPDATE 02/20/10: The Frenchman professed to being pulled away by a family emergency so secretive even his own son and cat were not made aware of it. I still see him from time to time, wandering the grocery store in his unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt, chest hair wild and unkempt in stark contrast to his precisely-groomed mustache. I imagine him muttering under his breath, “Zere iz zee beach ooh scorned moi.”, but thankfully he doesn’t notice me.
 
My husband trolled a local bar for a cheap replacement who would finish the job for cash. After much coaxing, he finally found a taker, and our entertainment center was completed. The secret door allowing access to the space behind the t.v. was never installed, bursting my dreams of hiding from the children and having wild sex with the television blaring. Or maybe just hiding from the children and sitting quietly in the corner.
 

Completed but not the ultimate hiding place.

 
• Has a Frenchman ever let you down?
• Do you take part in blogging groups?
• Where do you hide from the children?

Tags: abandon, carpenter, entertainment, french, hide, Humor, update, wild sex

The Update Blog

Posted on February 17th, 2010 by Jean

All Nighter At The Sleep Lab: After waking with a severe headache and numbness in my upper lip, I decided to visit the The Tri-State Neurological & Sleep Disorder Center. Bloodwork was done the day of my initial appointment, and an EEG was performed the following day. Prior to my MRI and my evening at the Sleep Lab, Tri-State Respiratory phoned to say I was approved for a C-PAP machine. Now that all of the tests are complete, I have the results. I’m completely normal. I couldn’t believe it either. No C-PAP, and no apnea diagnosis. I cited my exhaustion, and my husband’s complaints of my snoring and moments of not breathing. Dr. Nayer said it falls within the normal range to stop breathing for as long as 10 seconds ten times an hour. He also said that at no time was my oxygen saturation below 91%. (Ninety percent and above are healthy levels.)
 
Dr. Nayer gave me three options: 1) remove my uvula with a laser to stop my snoring; 2) take the sleep lab test again; and/or 3) be prescribed “peppy” pills for more daytime energy. He forgot about option number 4: do nothing. As he stretched back in his office chair, he said, “I cannot recommend you try an over the counter, herbal remedy called SnoreStop.” My bottle of SnoreStop arrived yesterday, and last night hubby and I enjoyed a peaceful night’s sleep.
 
 
Refrigerator Art: After so many positive comments on the girls’ art, I submitted two of Natalie’s drawings to Greeting Card Universe. They were approved! Here are Dancers and Love at First Sight in original and negative image.
 

 
Greeting Card Universe prints 7″ x 5″ high-quality cards. The good thing is I don’t have to invest in inventory. Plus the girls get 56 cents of every sale.
 
While we’re on the subject of updating, I thought it would be fun to post some of my earlier blogs with updated details. Would you be interested in hearing what happened after the carpenter failed to complete our entertainment center project, or what unfolded after Tom gave “Jesus” and his cross a ride to Laughlin, Nevada?
 

• Why do you think I was approved for a C-PAP only to be denied later?
• Do you have any blogs that need a follow-up story?

Tags: art, drawings, greeting cards, sleep apnea, sleep lab, update