“Can I drop my daughter off?”
“Meet the new neighbors!”
“Family is coming for Thanksgiving!”
My head was swimming. I waited for someone to throw me a lifeline. Would anyone say no? No to the requests placed upon my family?
The friend’s child came over, the new neighbor’s kids came over, the Thanksgiving plans were being made, and I wanted to shout, “NO”!
My name is Jean, and I was raised by hermits. I guess you could say I am a closet hermit. Others gain energy from visitors, but company makes me sweat. I’m out of my comfort zone in my own home. It’s a strange sensation. I try to overcome my emotions knowing social interaction is important to my family. But I’m afraid I’m going to have to say NO this NO-vember.
Say it with me.
NO!
Can I….?
NO!
Will you…?
NO!
It’s liberating!
The Mayo clinic agrees, saying NO reduces your stress and frees you up for the important things in your life. What’s important to me today is feeding my family, watching the food channel, emailing my parents, and taking my daughters to Target.
Tom actually jumped on the NO-vember bandwagon this morning when the new neighbor children brought over a stray mastiff while Tom was feeding the chickens. Long story short, animal control is going to rehabilitate the dog who needs to gain about 150 lbs. Tom also had a talk with the neighbor, letting him know we have some ground rules like NO stray dogs in the yard!
The timing of Thanksgiving (the 28th this year) coincides with when we pick up our magazine from Anaheim, so I’ve suggested we spend the holiday at our relatives’ home. I know, they love coming here to relax at our humble abode, but that really isn’t convenient. Why not move the event to their home?
Saying no isn’t easy for me. How about for you?
Comment By: Ingrid
November 2nd, 2013 at 6:00 pm
I’m with you…I prefer a low key household. Love how you turned the tables and are going to “their” home for Thanksgiving. I learned to say “no” for my own sanity.
Comment By: Jean
November 3rd, 2013 at 7:40 am
Thanks, Ingrid! I can’t wait to hear how they receive the news that we are turning the tables. 🙂
Comment By: Beth
November 2nd, 2013 at 6:28 pm
First of all, I LOVE your new look! I haven’t been here for a while, so it may not be new, but it’s new to me. ;O)
At 20, I wasn’t good at saying no. By 40, I pretty much had the hang of it. Now, at almost 52, I say what I want. Yes. No. Not a chance in hell. Whatever.
Comment By: Jean
November 3rd, 2013 at 7:43 am
Hi Beth! My look is still new! I needed a change. Didn’t feel the J-Lo and Vegas represented me anymore.
I’m only a couple years behind you. I hope by 52, I am also strong with saying Hell No!
Comment By: Ron
November 2nd, 2013 at 8:13 pm
Jean, you had me giggling through this whole post because I am EXACTLY like you when it comes to inviting people into my home. It’s funny because I am/can be a very social person, however, when it comes to socializing in my home, I’m very picky about who I want IN my home – and that includes family members.
My home is ‘my’ space, which I like having a very calm energy within. Yet, my mother and father were just the opposite, they LOVED having house company all the time and it used to drive me crazy. I would go sit and my own room and read a book or listen to music.
“Say it with me.
NO!”
Okay, I’ll say it with you, “NO!”
And brava to you for saying NO.
Great post!
Comment By: Jean
November 3rd, 2013 at 7:48 am
Ron, thank you for your support. I thought my upbringing had something to do with it, but now hearing that your parents were partiers, I can’t help but think I’ve ALWAYS been a hermit just as you’ve preferred solitude.
Tom, on the other hand, feels our door should be open, and RARELY turns anyone away.
Enjoy your Sunday!
Comment By: Sherri @ The Kitchen Prescription
November 3rd, 2013 at 8:57 am
I don’t know…it looks like you are getting the hang of it! LOL.
Yes. I have a hard time saying NO also. Hence, all our house visitors. Friday night, friends were visiting from NY, and we went out to dinner with them. We had cleaned the whole house thinking they would be staying with us. Luckily, that didn’t happen. It was an added bonus because now I could enjoy the weekend with minimal chores and a clean house.
Saturday rolls around and I’m like… “Yes, finally, peace and quiet at least until tomorrow.” Then my niece texts me that her brother (my nephew) is in town checking out the law school and wanted to know if we wanted to go out to dinner. We were too exhausted and all I really wanted to say was “NO thank you, we are staying in tonight and relaxing.” Instead, my conscience and doing the right thing got the better of me, and I invited them over to dinner.
Today, one half of the NY couple is coming back
over to watch football and hang out at our place. We have a couple weeks break and then my b/f’s brother is coming back with his two huge dogs for their team’s home NFL football game. They are yearly season ticket holders, so this is the usual around here this time of year.
Then my sister is visiting the week of Thanksgiving. She stays with her daughter (my niece) luckily, but I still have to make time to see her. My b/f and his brother will fly home to visit and spend time separately with their divorced parents. I already warned everyone I wasn’t cooking on Thanksgiving. My sister invited me to her future son in law’s parents’ house for dinner and I politely declined and said I’m staying home in my pjs all day and watching movies. I seriously can’t wait!!!!!
Haha, this is the craziness I deal with this time of year. It’s non stop friends and family coming for visits.
Wow, sorry to unload all that here. I’m so jealous of your No-vember!
Comment By: Jean
November 4th, 2013 at 4:41 pm
Oh my gawd, I don’t know how you do it!
I’m envious of your Turkey Day plans though! Jammies and movies = heavenly!
You can unload any time!
Comment By: Luisa Doraz
November 3rd, 2013 at 7:58 pm
lol I do believe that I have learned to balance my yes and no responces. lol I think you have a GREAT idea going to someone else’s house this year. I think I will consider that, based on all the family medical problems we are having. Great post Jean. 🙂
Comment By: Jean
November 4th, 2013 at 4:42 pm
I highly recommend going to someone else’s house this year. This revised plan is in motion for us. I hope your family’s medical problems are improving.
Comment By: Luisa Doraz
November 4th, 2013 at 8:28 pm
One day at a time Jean. Thanks for your concern. Stay well. 🙂
Comment By: elle sees
November 4th, 2013 at 5:39 am
i’m doing this next week for my weekly resolution!
Comment By: Jean
November 4th, 2013 at 4:43 pm
Excellent! I hope the NO brings you relief. 🙂
Comment By: Jayda
November 4th, 2013 at 9:23 am
I’m with you on being a closet hermit, and also on being terrible at saying “no.” But, I think NO-vember might be the best idea ever 🙂
Comment By: Jean
November 4th, 2013 at 4:43 pm
LOL! Thanks, Jayda! So far, so good! I just hope I don’t hear NOs.
Comment By: Angelia Sims
November 5th, 2013 at 5:42 pm
Since they closed our office and I work out of my home. I am soooo bad at not getting or going anywhere or seeing anyone. I planned a weekend with my husband in Sonoma. I was so excited, but now that it is a week away. I am a little panicky. I have to leave MY HOME?? Ahhh! Lol. Saying No feels good. And I have come to realize being a homebody is something special. 🙂
Comment By: Jean
November 9th, 2013 at 4:43 pm
I hate leaving my home too, but do feel refreshed once I’m out.
Have a wonderful time in beautiful Sonoma!
Comment By: catherine gacad
November 9th, 2013 at 10:30 am
yes, so liberating!!! i am all over this NOvember movement. i used to be that girl who said yes to everything and now i need to focus on me and my bun in the oven.
Comment By: Jean
November 9th, 2013 at 4:44 pm
Awww, bun in the oven. So sweet! Saying NO is more important that ever.
Comment By: Rach
November 11th, 2013 at 3:39 pm
Saying “no” is SO hard! Especially when it’s all to good opportunities. But it’s easy to get overwhelmed if you don’t say “no” once in awhile. That’s a lesson we’ve had to learn over and over again, haha!
Comment By: Jean
November 12th, 2013 at 8:55 am
I’m getting better at it. Holding up my end so far. Thanks Rach! (I don’t know how you juggle all that you do!)