Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People Right Now:
1. Twisting my boobs and saying, Come in Tokyo, is not foreplay.
2. I don’t know where you got the phrase, My arms are broken, but if you could help me pick up your toys, I’d appreciate it.
3. I am prescribing a Girls Getaway as you need an emergency dose of fun, stat!
4. Even your grandchildren without penises are deserving of your time.
5. I’m afraid you’re going to bitch-slap me. Are you going to bitch-slap me? ::: nervous laughter :::
6. I don’t think we are really friends, but if we are, you need to brush up on your friendship skills.
7. Everyone thinks she’s the kook, but you’re a kook too! It’s obviously working and you’ve got a happy family.
8. Where did your wedding ring go? If you want to talk about it, I’m here.
9. Remember how you got your hair cut & colored, and I paid for it? Then the next time I saw you, you told me how you got your hair cut & colored. Well… ummm…. how do I say this? I was there! (Are you on something?)
10. It would mean the world to Tom if you came to visit us. Act now! Operators are standing by.
Nine Things about Myself:
Yes, officer, I saw her! She was 5’4″ with brown hair. Her eyes, hazel. She seemed to be a self-employed, 43 year old, and she had 2 young daughters. Oh, she must be married. She was wearing a wedding ring. She had a recyclable bag from Target, so I’ll bet she loves to shop. She drove away in a Dodge Magnum.
Eight Ways to Win My {Friendship} Heart:
1. Call or email just to say hi.
2. If we make plans, try not to cancel them.
3. If I fall down, help me up. (That’s not a metaphor.)
4. Drink responsibly.
5. Treat me, my children and my husband nicely.
6. Be positive!
7. Eat dessert.
8. Don’t tell me to shut up when I am laughing at my own jokes.
Seven Things that Cross My Mind a Lot:
1. What time is it?
2. Where’s Tom?
3. I wonder what Natalie is doing right now!
4. What can Pearl and I do for fun today?
5. What’s for breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack?
6. Am I forgetting something?
7. Do I have to work today?
Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep:
1. Pick up toys.
2. Start the dishwasher.
3. Kiss hubby goodnight.
4. Pee
5. Get naked.
6. Watch a bit of t.v.
Five People Who Mean a Lot:
1. Tom
2. Natalie & Pearl equally
3. My sister
4. My parents equally
5. My friends
Four Things I’m Wearing Right Now:
1. A large, blue bathrobe.
2.
3.
4.
Three Songs I Listen to Often (or 3 bands/artists?):
1. Pink
2. Eminem
3. Alanis Morissette
Two Things I Want to Do Before I Die:
1. Watch my daughters grow up.
2. Retire.
One Confession:
1. I unsubscribed from your blog because after a month of reading yours, I realized you weren’t reading mine.
Please feel free to tag yourself! Let me know when it’s up & running!
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