Good morning! Yesterday I drove to Vegas to get my hair done and to Christmas shop.
New doo. Sorry for the serious bed-head.
At the House of Blues, I found the coolest gifts for my best friend, Joy, and her husband Cimber. They don’t read my blog, so it’s safe to post a couple pics here without ruining the surprise.
Blues Brothers bowling shirt and Day of the Dead cross.
I think Cimber wears bowling shirts 24/7, and Joy is really into skulls and crosses.
At Nordstrom, I stopped by the Lancome counter to pick up some makeup remover. While there, I asked if they had any rollerball lipgloss. Reminds me of my youth. Do you remember those flavored rollerball lipglosses? Well, they’re back… but all sold out. They did have the regular old wand lipgloss, and the colors are fantastic, so I bought one.
Lancome’s Color Fever Gloss in Aflame
I was also low on mascara, so I asked about that. The lady said, Sit down. I want to put some on you. So I sat down. Do you know what she produced? The vibrating mascara! She pushed the button, and began massaging my lashes. It felt oddly good, until she poked me in the eye! I kid you not! You all warned me it was an accident waiting to happen, and it sure as hell was! Ok, so after cleaning up the tears and smudges, I had to admit, my lashes looked MUCH longer! So, I actually bought the mascara. It does have a dual purpose. It’s a mascara, and a vibrator that leaves your pubes looking luxurious. Har har har!
When the lady poked me in the eye and apologized, I said, It’s ok. Why do we say it’s ok when it really isn’t? If she had warned me beforehand, I’m going to gouge your eye out with this vibrating applicator. Are you alright with that? I’d certainly have said, No. Are you out of your mind?
Let me get some more coffee in me. Have an awesome Saturday!
I have to apologize. I tried to post a blog yesterday, but discovered an important fact. Drinking a shot of bourbon in the afternoon makes it difficult for me to form sentences. Why was I drinking bourbon? Because my sweet friend, Jillicous, sent me a Taste of Kentucky, complete with Mint Julep mix! I HAD to try it. So, I was drinking, and snapping pictures, and attempting to blog. Good thing I sobered up before posting it. So, let me try again to share with you the early Christmas present I received on Wednesday.
Here is an animation I made while I was drinking. You can just see my eyes glazing over, can’t you?
… lose my expensive bag in space.
There goes my deposit at Bag Borrow or Steal™.
… get replaced by 19 year old twins.
Looks like they’re draining the life right out of him!
… agree to have my butt waxed on t.v.
Aired on TheDoctors November 24th.
I’m Thankful I Didn’t (take two)…
… marry that El Debarge wannabe.
Ooops! I actually did do that.
… marry that guy that was old enough to be my father.
Wrong again. I did that too!
… move to one of the hottest places in North America.
Yipes! I did, and I’m still here too.
… invest money in the stock market.
Wahhhh! No comment.
I’m Thankful I Didn’t (take three)…
… tattoo anyone’s name on my body.
Hey, I got one right!
… try to have my children at home.
C-sections are best done at the hospital, I would think.
… move to one of the coldest places in North America.
I’m a wimp when it comes to cold weather.
… moon or flash anyone.
Which reminds me…
A Mooning Memory
Way back in the late 70’s or early 80’s, I was having breakfast with my brother, sister, Mom and Dad at a restaurant in either Reno or Sparks, NV. This particular restaurant had a bubble window right next to one of the tables. Yes, a big bubble of a window to enjoy the view of snow covered mountains. Let me give you a little piece of advice. If you ever see a *Leave It To Beaver*-type family enjoying their french toast near a bubble window, do not moon them. They could be scarred for life.
• Are you thankful you didn’t…?
• Do you have a mooning memory?
Thanks for reading!
