Five Things I Wish I Could Say to My Exes
1. There’s a term for your condition! Ya! I saw it on Doctor 90210. Here it is! Season 3, Episode 9, Buried Penis. See? Good luck with that!
It was a small service.
2. I felt like I was being a bad girl when I dated you. You’re one of those guys who is UGLY-HOT.
Examples of Ugly-Hot.
3. It is not fair that twenty years later, you have big muscles!
I didn’t have a ticket.
4. What the hell was on the back of your head? Did you absorb a twin in utero? You really should warn a girl before she starts running her fingers through your hair.
Wow! A human french-tickler.
5. Remember when you slipped, and bruised my pooter? I don’t think you slipped.
Yes, it did.
This was harder than I thought!
Please feel free to run with it!
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