I had such a strange dream last night. Thank you, Taco Bell.
In this dream, I was a prostitute. Quiet! I worked in a swanky Mall -slash- Casino -slash- Hotel. Police were looking for a missing person, and all the whores’ suites were to be searched. My trick (is that the right term?) was a nice, elderly gentleman who wanted to buy me a drink. I was just about to tell the bartender my order when my date cut me off, and ordered two shots of a clear liquor. Then it dawned on me. Can a whore order a drink, or do you have to just take what you’re offered?
Typical of a casino, it was hard to find my way around. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how to exit! Plus, the mall was very enticing. I’ll bet I spent a lot of my earnings there.
• Tell me a strange dream you’ve had.
• If you worked in a mall, would you spend a lot of money there?
• Do you think a prostitute can order the drink of her choice?
Comment By: Sherri
July 11th, 2010 at 8:43 am
lmao Jean. I’ve had many a strange dream in my life…but never have I been a prostitute in one of them.
I’d probably spend my whole paycheck in the mall as soon as I got it…without question.
IMO…I think if you are off the clock you can order your own drink, however, when on the clock you do what the boss (john/trick) wants.
hahaha great blog Jean. Nice morning coffee blog read. Thanks!
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
July 11th, 2010 at 8:50 am
LOL, Sherri, spending all your dollars @ the mall!
Your theory re: drinking on/off the clock works for me. Wouldn’t it be funny if a real prostitute came by to fill us in?
Enjoy your Sunday!
Comment By: Angelia Sims
July 11th, 2010 at 8:46 am
Haha! Crazy dreams (Taco Bell!). I never contemplated that drink question. I bet they drink anything, it’s free right?
I had a dream where I was at my old house upstairs. I looked out the window and there on the tree branch was a squirrel. It had a chicken in it’s grip and was biting it’s neck. I was horrified!!
I had watched Earth and Survivor that week. Ha.
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
July 11th, 2010 at 8:53 am
Good point, Angelia. Free drinks are always good!
What a horrible dream you had! I’ll bet you were relieved when you woke up. They always seem so real!
Comment By: Doraz
July 11th, 2010 at 10:31 am
OK, did you eat chocolate before going to bed? lol 🙂 Wild dream Jean. 🙂 I think anyone should be able to order any drink they like. So there. lol 🙂 I worked 7 years retail. The malls and I became friends. I knew where everything was…except my money. lol 🙂 Have a fun day. 🙂
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
July 11th, 2010 at 10:43 am
Ha! I wish, Luisa! I should pick up some chocolate today!
I worked in a mall briefly as a teen, and loved going to the food court and getting employee discounts in my own store. Heaven help me if I was employed there now!
I’ll bet you are a wealth of info. when it comes to mall shopping! 😀
Comment By: Kristin (Wanderlust)
July 11th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
Oh no no no! I think we need to *analyze* this dream. Hmmm…. Now, in what area of your life are you, ahem, selling out? Not making your own choices? Have gone missing?
Okay, I’ll stop being a killjoy.
Can a prostitute order her own drink? Of course. She’s selling her body, not her personality and simple life choices. Though in that case she might want to pay for it herself. Which, you know, goes against the whole prostitute thing.
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
July 11th, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Hahahahahaha! You are no killjoy. I like where you are taking this.
I should have bought my own drink. You are so correct. I’m still learning. LOL!
Comment By: Sunny Wishes She Were Shopping
July 11th, 2010 at 2:58 pm
OMG! I would have read this blog just because of the title! LOL
Well, did your “trick” ever let you sample the clear liquid?
I’ve never had a dream quite like this! Keep ’em coming!
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
July 11th, 2010 at 3:20 pm
LOL! The title came easy. It was the storyline I had to flesh out.
No, that old guy didn’t let me sample the liquid. Bummer. I’ll bet dream alcohol is good!
Thanks for stopping by while you’re vacationing. 🙂
Comment By: Gina
July 11th, 2010 at 4:10 pm
If you drink in a dream do you wake with a hangover…?!
Sorry, we are supposed to be answering questions, not adding to them! I’m thinking that if you are still working then you accept the drink offered and probably are just playing the role the client wants. I’m sure any drink would help blur the edges and more time spent sipping a drink, less time spent…
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
July 11th, 2010 at 5:57 pm
Hi Gina. Your avatar makes me smile.
LOL – yes, you might wake up feeling hungover if you tie one on in your dreams.
All this talk of cocktails is making me mighty thirsty. 🙂 Time to open a bottle of wine.
Comment By: Mona
July 11th, 2010 at 5:24 pm
Hi Jean, I stopped by to respond to a comment you left me, then I read your post. Loved it! Yes, a think a whore should be able to order what she wants. There’s gotta be some perks to the job right?
Here’s one of my funky dreams: http://moremilestones.blogspot.com/2009/07/sweet-dreamsplease.html.
Stop by to link your 1st blog post here: http://moremilestones.blogspot.com/2010/07/link-your-1st-blog-post-here.html
Thanks again for stopping by,
Mona : )
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
July 11th, 2010 at 5:56 pm
Thanks for stopping by, Mona! Love you answer!
I’m on my way to read your funky dream blog. Can’t wait!
I’ll hook you up to my lame 1st blog post too. 🙂 Thanks!
Comment By: Bag Lady
July 11th, 2010 at 8:02 pm
STFU!! 3 nights ago I dreamed I wanted to try out to be a Vegas showgirl! Except I was getting arrested for something, and had to escape those arresting me first. Like, had to jump in a convertible and drive away while they were shooting me.
I’m totally new to blogging so have no idea how you ‘suscribe’ to my blog, outside of just clicking on follow. I suck. But SO glad I found yours!
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
July 11th, 2010 at 8:54 pm
Bag Lady, we need to hook up in Vegas! Bwahahahahaha! At least you were a classy showgirl. Glad you got away and avoided the bullets.
I’m going to add you to my blogroll because I can already tell I need your humor on a regular basis!
Comment By: Bag Lady
July 16th, 2010 at 11:38 pm
AWESOME! Loving your writing. Glad I found ya! Or maybe you found me. If only I could remember. Must have been all those drinks I had at the slot machines earlier…
*evil laugh*
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
July 17th, 2010 at 6:59 am
Thank you, Bag Lady!
I’ve got to thank BlogFrog for bringing us together!
Were you lucky @ the slots? 😀
Comment By: JustKate
July 12th, 2010 at 8:35 am
You are too funny! I doubt very many prostitutes get offered drinks to begin with. I’m thinking of all the celebrities and preachers caught getting paid blow-jobs in their cars… A high end prostitute, which you OBVIOUSLY are – err, would be, I mean – would most definitely get to order her own drink!
I HATE malls. I HATE them, hate them, hate them. Hell is comprised of malls, with breezeways that run to WalMart, and there’s no way out…. *shudders* If I had to chose between working as a prostitute and working in a mall, the choice would require a bit of thought… 😉
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
July 12th, 2010 at 9:46 am
LOL, Kate! Unless the celeb has a cooler in his car, those hookers are not getting drinks. Thank you for noting what a high-end prostitute I would be. 😀
I would gladly be your personal shopper! Except in hell.
Comment By: Roxane
July 12th, 2010 at 9:45 am
Okeedokie. You are a crack up. I wish my dreams were so interesting.
P.S.–your header is fantastic!
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
July 12th, 2010 at 9:57 am
Thank you, Roxane! Your header is hilarious! 🙂
May I suggest Taco Bell for dinner to amp up your dreams? LOL!
Comment By: Leslie
July 12th, 2010 at 6:50 pm
Ha! Just the title of this post, itself, had me rolling. You do pose a very, very important question, though. One that I will ponder all night … while ordering my own drink. Heh.
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
July 12th, 2010 at 7:22 pm
Hahahaha. One beer, and I’ve got the giggles tonight. Enjoy your cocktail, and be safe!
Comment By: Leese
July 12th, 2010 at 6:55 pm
Well.. my weird dreams always occur after eating pepperoni and I guess if I worked in mall, I would have to resort to some sort of prostitution in order to afford my habit.. cause yknow.. I don’t really think Bath and Body Works pays enough. Not sure. And I believe I read some where that only high priced escorts order their own drinks.. street walkers only accept the beer their given so CONGRATULATIONS JEAN!! You hit the big time, sister!!
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
July 12th, 2010 at 7:19 pm
Bwahahahahahaha! Literally laughing out loud here, Leese!
I’ve seen the shoes you are hoarding, and yes, you’d need to turn a few tricks to satisfy your tastes. Yeah baby, I’m big time! I’ll drink to that! Thanks!
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Comment By: Lisa
October 1st, 2010 at 7:15 am
I’ve had more than one disturbing dream about that Adam Lambert guy. One more and I am definitely going to start heavy drinking.
Comment By: Jean
October 1st, 2010 at 7:26 am
LOL, Lisa! I cannot even imagine what Adam’s doing in your dreams.
Comment By: Sedate Me
October 4th, 2010 at 8:04 am
I’m not sure you want me to analyze your dream, but I will if asked.
If you worked in a mall, would you spend a lot of money there?
I need the Jaws of Life to pry open my wallet. My disdain for shopping and spending money in general is why I have money to spend.
With my attitude, I don’t think anybody would hire me to work in a mall. But if it ever happened, it would probably send me into a Bad Santa downward spiral. And there wouldn’t be no bullshit, life affirming, happy ending, either.
Do you think a prostitute can order the drink of her choice?
I work my ladies to the bone, if you know what I mean. So, I let all my prostitutes order their own drinks. (As long as they pay for them.) I leave the ordering for the bedroom.
Comment By: Jean
October 4th, 2010 at 10:19 am
Sedate Me, your reference to Bad Santa made me laugh/snort.
Thank you for your candid view. I feel I have some real answers now.
As always, love you stopping by.
Comment By: Sedate Me
October 4th, 2010 at 12:14 pm
Hey, you always know who to talk to for real, honest, no-holds-barred, answers to anything, even if I know jack shit about the topic.
With regards to the mall, if I had to work at a mall/retail at this point, that would push me past the tipping point. It would be one part Clerks, one part Bad Santa and that’s being optimistic. I would be more likely to go 100% “postal” and wind up killing everyone there.
As for whores, just because you take sex for money doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be treated with basic human decency. I show it to everyone I sleep with, paid or otherwise. Hard to tell the difference actually. Both usually expect fees for services rendered and they certainly walk away with big smiles on their faces.
Shit, I should be the prostitute! Like Richard Gere in American Gigolo. I always liked Blondie and my dad used to have the same car Gere drove in that movie. I’d use any excuse to get one for myself and go cruisin’. (I draw the line at gerbils though.)
As for your prostitution dream, if I get some time, I might analyze it…for $100/hour. (or for something “in trade”) But it will be well worth it.