SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE ATTENDING A SHITTY CHRISTMAS PARTY
1. You arrive 30 minutes late, yet the host & hostess are not ready.
2. The bartender chastises you for bringing your own beverages.
3. You’re the only one dressed in festive clothing.
4. Nobody gives a damn about your red socks (and I’m not talking baseball).
5. Partygoers that owe you money avoid you like the plague.
6. You spend three hours talking to someone you once fired because she’s the most interesting person present.
7. The host asks you if the shrimp smells fishy.
8. There are 2 places to congregate; the garage or the patio.
- There’s karaoke in the garage.
- It’s raining outside.
9. Men are looking for places to urinate in the yard.
10. You’re in the middle of four conversations because people keep wandering off.
11. You’re told one of your close friends has terminal cancer.
12. You’re not feeling jolly. As a matter of fact, you’re weeping.
RUN, DON’T WALK, TO YOUR NEAREST EXIT!
• Have you seen any of these signs?
• What sign(s) would you add to this list?
Comment By: Sherri
December 13th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
OMG….that’s is hysterical! At least you got a great blog out of it.
Especially like the 3 hour conversation with someone you once fired. 🙂
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
December 13th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
No doubt! By the end of the evening, we’d scheduled a lunch date! Bwahahaha!
Comment By: Donald Mills
December 13th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Variations on your some of your potential signs:
You arrive 30 minutes late and the party is ending.
The bartender chastises you for not showing enough cleavage.
You’re the only one dressed….
People are way too interested in your red socks and repeatedly ask if they can touch or sniff them.
Partygoers that owe you money hit you up for more.
The men have given up looking for places to urinate in the yard and are investigating hall closets as an alternative.
The host asks you if the egg nog smells “fishy.”
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
December 13th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Oh, Donald, you should have written this blog! You have hubby and I in hysterics! ROFL!!
Comment By: Carla
December 13th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Now THAT is what I call a shitty Christmas party! …..and I’ve been there, done that. Ugh.
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
December 13th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Let’s hope there are no more in our future! Thanks Carla!
Comment By: Dennis the Vizsla
December 13th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Office Christmas parties should be treated like the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. Avoid, avoid, avoid.
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
December 13th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Hahahaha, Dennis! Good advice, which we shall heed next holiday season!
Comment By: sweetiegirlz
December 13th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
That’s too hilarious. was there gifts exchanged? I think one addition could be if the hosts asked to put your keys in a big bowl when you walk in…lol.
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
December 13th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
They asked us to bring an unwrapped toy for Toys For Tots, but no exchanging of gifts between guests.
OMG, Sweetiegirlz! That would have been BAD! LOL!
Comment By: Kate
December 13th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
I think it would depend on who the Gyno was. I had a pretty bad one in my day!
But yeah, I think that experience was still better than your epic failure of a party experience.
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
December 13th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
I’m glad this party was worse than your gyno visit. I would have felt really awful and wanted to send you some gingerbread cookies or something.
Comment By: Sunny Wants To Be Shopping
December 13th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
ROFL!!! Sounds like a bummer evening. 🙁 Sorry
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
December 13th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
I’ll bet you had a few stinky parties too! ROFL!! Can’t wait to hear your signs!
Comment By: Era
December 15th, 2009 at 7:53 am
Lol! That party reeked!
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
December 15th, 2009 at 8:02 am
It stunk as bad as the shrimp! LOL!
Comment By: Tasneem R
December 17th, 2009 at 4:14 am
The place seems so clumsy that it is difficult for you to make out what is where…if you need water you have to roam about for at least 1 hour before you catch the sight of the water bottle .
Christmas Holiday Personality – What does your Christmas Holiday say about you?
http://www.3smartcubes.com/pages/tests/christmas_personality/christmas_personality_instructions.asp
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
December 17th, 2009 at 8:26 am
Oh Tasneem, those would be signs indeed! I’d really head for the door… as soon as I could find it.
Comment By: Tammy
December 17th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
Whoa! Those are some good signs of a terrible party. LOL
Here are a couple more.
-If there is a tip jar at the table.
-The hostess changes her kid’s diaper in the middle of the floor.
Oh, and don’t ask your hostess if you can have her Rudolph figuring when she dies. She might not get your humor.
Comment By: Jean Has Been Shopping
December 18th, 2009 at 10:38 am
There might have been a tip jar there! Bwahahahahaha!
Ewwwww, stinky diaper.
Hmmm, ok. I’ll remain mum on the Rudolph statue. LOL!