Make A Party Invitation in 20 Minutes

Posted on November 5th, 2011 by Jean

Friday morning I was given the assignment by my soon-to-be 9 year old to create birthday party invitations for her to hand out THAT MORNING. No, I hadn’t planned ahead. She’ll have a handful of girlfriends over next Saturday, and I intend to just phone their parents. But, none the less, I was up to the challenge.
 
Step 1: Visit Dreamstime. This is my go-to source for graphics.
 
Step 2: Search for party invitations. You’ll find a wide variety, from “free” to “you’ve got to be kidding me”!
 
Step 3: Buy a few credits and download your favorite image. I found this cute invitation for 3 credits (approx. $3.75).
 
Step 4: Edit in Photoshop. See notes below. When editing is done, choose Layers, Flatten Image to merge all layers into one.
 

 
Step 5: Save & Print. I created a new, blank Photoshop page, 11×8.5 landscape orientation, and dragged (with my pointer tool) the invitation to it twice. Two invitations fit on one page. I used brochure paper (heavy stock with a nice finish).
 
Step 6: Cut. Remove the white border, and cut out the 2 invitations. Repeat as necessary.
 
For an in-depth tutorial on adding text, view my post Photoshop Tips V: Add Text to Photos.
 
• Do you have a go-to source for graphics?
• Store-bought or home-made invitations?

Shitty Party Signs

Posted on December 13th, 2009 by Jean

SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE ATTENDING A SHITTY CHRISTMAS PARTY

1. You arrive 30 minutes late, yet the host & hostess are not ready.

2. The bartender chastises you for bringing your own beverages.

3. You’re the only one dressed in festive clothing.

4. Nobody gives a damn about your red socks (and I’m not talking baseball).

5. Partygoers that owe you money avoid you like the plague.

6. You spend three hours talking to someone you once fired because she’s the most interesting person present.

7. The host asks you if the shrimp smells fishy.

8. There are 2 places to congregate; the garage or the patio.

  1. There’s karaoke in the garage.
  2. It’s raining outside.

9. Men are looking for places to urinate in the yard.

10. You’re in the middle of four conversations because people keep wandering off.

11. You’re told one of your close friends has terminal cancer.

12. You’re not feeling jolly. As a matter of fact, you’re weeping.

RUN, DON’T WALK, TO YOUR NEAREST EXIT!

• Have you seen any of these signs?
• What sign(s) would you add to this list?

Meet My Party Crashers

Posted on July 7th, 2008 by Jean

My party was crashed.
 
It wasn’t much of a party, in the way of size. Tom, the kids and I, plus our buddies, Rick & Joyce. We were grilling a roast, enjoying a few leaded lemonades, playing Wii bowling. What more could you ask for on a beautiful Saturday evening?
 
Knock, knock, knock!
 
Seriously, who is that? Who are they?
 
Please. If these 2 people come a knockin, you might want to batten down the hatches. I had never seen them before in my life, but they came prepared to party. Tom, apparently, knew them in passing.
 
Mrs Bickerson
 

 
Features:
Tight perm
Large hooters
 
Tendencies:
• Offers to show you her new breasts within 1 hour of meeting you.
• Brings her own wine & glass, but will guzzle 8 shots of your finest Crown Royal.
• Swears like a sailor.
• Pulls you into her fights by asking, What would you do if I fell down drunk?
• Wants to borrow your swimsuit and jacuzzi at 11pm.
 
Mr. Bickerson
 

 
Features:
Large, white handlebar moustache
 
Tendencies:
• Ready to party with his own cooler, beer, mug, and bloody mary mix.
• Pushes Mrs. Bickerson’s buttons, causing her to swear like a sailor.
• Shoots a mean game of pool.
 
I don’t know how they ended up at our house, but when our friends, Rick & Joyce, left around 10pm, we wanted to go with them!
 
Mr. Bickerson’s level head prevailed, and he drug his wife and his cooler out of here before I had to forfeit my swimwear.
 
• What do you say when a woman offers to show you her boobs?
• Have you ever loaned your swimsuit to a stranger?
• Have you partied with the Bickersons?

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