1. Cut a deal with Summer’s Eve. Demand they create a “Smells Like Money!” scent.

2. Accept an offer from Dirt Devil. The sale of dirt bags could triple.

3. Contact The Las Vegas Tourism Board. Your face plus their trademarked phrase equals a match made in heaven.

4. Remake the Austin Powers hit, GoldMember.

5. Pen a Dummies book.

So, what do you say, Mr. Woods? Are you ready to come out of hiding and get back to work?

1. Cut a deal with Summer’s Eve. Demand they create a “Smells Like Money!” scent.

2. Accept an offer from Dirt Devil. The sale of dirt bags could triple.

3. Contact The Las Vegas Tourism Board. Your face plus their trademarked phrase equals a match made in heaven.

4. Remake the Austin Powers hit, GoldMember.

5. Pen a Dummies book.

So, what do you say, Mr. Woods? Are you ready to come out of hiding and get back to work?

2. The bartender chastises you for bringing your own beverages.

3. You’re the only one dressed in festive clothing.

4. Nobody gives a damn about your red socks (and I’m not talking baseball).

5. Partygoers that owe you money avoid you like the plague.

6. You spend three hours talking to someone you once fired because she’s the most interesting person present.

7. The host asks you if the shrimp smells fishy.

8. There are 2 places to congregate; the garage or the patio.

1. There’s karaoke in the garage.
2. It’s raining outside.

9. Men are looking for places to urinate in the yard.

10. You’re in the middle of four conversations because people keep wandering off.

11. You’re told one of your close friends has terminal cancer.

12. You’re not feeling jolly. As a matter of fact, you’re weeping.