Fighting With New England

Posted on January 8th, 2014 by Jean
Desert Pussy

Although this is not my neighbor, it looks a lot like him. He walks with one stick and a small pistol.

Today I got in a fight with my neighbor, “New England”. No, this is not my typical behavior. Let me back up to the day that ignited the feud. During the November break from school, my daughters were home while my husband and I continued our work from our home office. Tom had driven over to a client’s office to get final approval on the December cover of our real estate magazine. I was upstairs with the girls when I noticed a dog in our yard. We have 13 pet chickens who roam freely on our acres during the day, and this dog was being aggressive towards them.

I ran outside, so scared I couldn’t catch my breath, running at the dog and shouting, “Get out! Get out!” The dog jumped over the rock wall, but then hopped right back into the yard. He kept chasing the chickens and bit one. Again I shouted and charged. The dog, a large husky type dog, walked towards me, then past me and out our front gate. A third time the dog jumped back into the yard, chasing and snapping at the chickens. “Get out!” I shouted. I grabbed a rake and swung at it. I threw rocks. I felt defenseless. I looked to the sky and stated, “Why won’t anyone help me?”

Just then, a tenant on our land came out of his van to see what was going on. He threw rocks at the dog too. Meanwhile, my daughters, hearing my screams, phoned their father on his cell phone, and he came screeching back to the house. Screeching is the key, as the dust on our dirt road was flying through the air.

The dog was detained and removed by Animal Control. The chickens, though short a few feathers, were unharmed. The neighbor, “New England”, was dusted out. His words. He was dusted out when Tom drove up the road in such a hurry. He had not spoken to us since… until today.

This morning I overheard yelling and swearing. I heard my husband ask, “Why didn’t you help my wife when you heard her screaming?” I heard “New England”‘s reply, “She wasn’t screaming!” More back and forth exchange, f-bombs and screw you’s. Then only one continued to yell… it was “New England” aka Eric. I stepped outside, and saw him walking up the road, swearing aloud.

“What are you talking about?”, I asked.

“F you! Go back in your house!”

“I did ask for help. Why didn’t you help me?”

“F you! Get out of here!”

“Oh, that’s right. You’re a pussy. Do you want to borrow my Midol?”

“Blah blah blah” – I have to admit, I tuned him out. My adrenaline made me a little deaf. Perhaps the same deafness that affected him when he saw the dog charging my chickens.

“Why don’t you go change your tampon, Eric? Do you have cramps? I can loan you the Midol?”, I continued with my derogatory barrage.

He continued on his way, muttering loudly to himself. A handyman installing a drain on the side of our house said, “I love you.” Tom said, “I told you my wife was cool.”

I don’t want any further arguments with the guy. He chose not to come to my aid although he was apparently near enough our home to have the flying dirt fall on him… or perhaps on his furniture which he had to dust. You don’t want to help me? No problem, but don’t lie about me. I did ask for help. I did receive help. You, neighbor Eric, can still borrow my Midol or perhaps my lemon-fresh furniture polish.

β€’ Have you ever had an argument with a neighbor, and were you able to resolve the problem?

Jean photo B16123E10292F5D0137E3C112C0110E4_zpsa65858d2.png

17 Responses to "Fighting With New England"

  1. O.M.G…..I’m new here, so a little unsure how close your neighbors are if you have acres? But what a loser for not helping you! My husband had huge issues with our old neighbor and I’ve always meant to blog about it! Thanks for the reminder.
    Bijoux recently posted..A Customer Rave (Rare, I Know)

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    Jean Reply:

    Thanks, Bijoux. I’m gonna go with loser. He lives about 1,000 ft from us, but regularly walks right past our house. Hope your blog about your old neighbor doesn’t give you heartburn. πŸ™

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  2. Okay Jean, I laughed so hard when I read this, I just about fell off my chair…

    “Oh, that’s right. You’re a pussy. Do you want to borrow my Midol?”

    Bwhahahahahahaha! You GO, girl!

    And I have to agree with the handyman, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

    And hey listen, I’ve gotten THAT mad before when I’ve said things like that.

    Do you know what amazes me about this whole experience? If New England looks a lot like the guy in the photo, he should be ashamed of himself for not trying to help you. All the muscle and macho crap, for what?

    So I’m not at all surprised he carries a ‘small’ pistol.

    HA!

    I’ve never had an argument with a next door neighbor, however, I did have to call the police on a neighbor TWICE because he was a young kid who liked to have parties that started at 1 AM and would last until 5 AM. He was also a very strange guy who appear violent. So rather than confront him myself, I let the police deal with it.

    And he eventually moved.

    Yippeeeeee!

    Great post, Jean!
    Ron recently posted..All For A Bottle Of Wine

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    Jean Reply:

    I wish I had recorded this exchange! Hahahaha! Thanks so much, Ron! OMG, love the “small pistol” reference!
    1-5am parties would be horrible. Glad you did call the police, and that the young guy moved. Perfect!

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  3. that’s awful and ridiculous!
    i’ve only lived in apts as an adult, so i’ve had loud neighbors. i’m pretty lucky right now–they’re all good.
    elle sees recently posted..Urban Decay Naked 3 Palette: Review, Tutorial, Giveaway

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    Jean Reply:

    Hoping your run of good neighbors lasts forever. πŸ™‚ Thanks, Elle!

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  4. What a damn TURD! “I got dusted out, wahhhhhh” STFU! hahaha

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    Jean Reply:

    Hahahahaha! No shit. I’m fighting with a dog, and he’s complaining about a lil’ dirt. F*cker.
    Thanks for the smiles, Amanda!

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  5. Oh goodness, this makes me so thankful for my good neighbours! Good for you and your husband for having the guts to confront him! I definitely would not have been that brave, but I love that you were. And so glad your chickens were okay; I can’t even imagine how scary that incident would have been for both them and you!!
    Jayda recently posted..Nothing to Write

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    Jean Reply:

    It was really frightening. Glad it is over and ended okay.
    I saw New England walking by our home yesterday, and could have dusted him out, but I chose to be the bigger person.
    Thanks for your kindness, Jayda.

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  6. This is why I’m so torn about moving: I love my neighbors. Seriously, they’re the best ever. They texted me while we were in Nevada last week to warn me of a mysterious woman entering the house. OK, so it turned out to be my mom checking in on the cat, but still: it COULD have been a masked marauder. I will miss having them watching over my place when I’m gone!

    Good luck dealing with yours. He sounds like a piece of work.
    Mark recently posted..How High Can The Fox Jump?

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    Jean Reply:

    He’s a piece of something, Mark. LOL! I’m glad you have such outstanding neighbors. Your Mom is mysterious? Love that!
    Have a great weekend, and thanks for stopping by!

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  7. Oh, yikes. I’m so sorry to hear this happened to you πŸ™ I have had issues in the past with my neighbors, but it’s mostly passive aggressive stuff (that yes, is very annoying, but thankfully it’s never escalated to this). I don’t know what I would have done in this situation, but I do know that having a dog means you have to be a respectful owner. Which means knowing where your dog is at all times. Thank god this story didn’t have a worse ending.

    Also, who the hell walks around with a pistol in their pocket?!?
    Charlotte recently posted..Breaking the girl code

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    Jean Reply:

    We actually don’t know who the owner was, although he ran to another neighbor’s door. That neighbor wasn’t home at the time, but Animal Control questioned him later.
    New England hasn’t been walking by as much since the altercation.
    Surprisingly, he carries because is afraid of being attacked by a stray dog!

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    Jean Reply:

    Thank you for your comment, btw! I hope things improve with your neighbor.

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  8. Ugh! What a mess! Sorry you had to deal with that. Your poor chickens. πŸ™ I’m glad they were mostly unharmed!
    Rach recently posted..Baked Ham and Cheese Party Sandwiches

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    Jean Reply:

    Thank you, Rach. Our chickens are like pets; we love them so much.

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