My Life – Part 4

Posted on March 16th, 2008 by Jean

My Life ~ Part 1
My Life ~ Part 2
My Life ~ Part 3


My Life ~ Part 4
 
I began my new job as a bank teller in the town I now call home. I was excited to be around people, and anticipated making friends and getting out of my depressing funk.
 
One of the ladies I worked with, Stephanie, was a whole lot of fun! We enjoyed eachother’s company, and even managed to go shopping together one weekend.
 
Stephanie had a playful way about her, and must have grown up being physical, because she managed to bruise my arm a few times with a poke or a sock. When George happened to see the bruise on my arm, that was the end of that. He bullied me for 45 minutes until I called my supervisor to report the *assault*. The next day, while I was at work, the Bank President requested a conference call with the Bank Manager, Stephanie and me. George had gone over everyone’s head to report this *assault* to the President. We three ladies were stunned, and ashamed. Stephanie actually ran from the building in tears. Not only was our friendship over, but the wheels were turning that one, or both, of us should find a new job.
 
I think this is part of the control issue. Although I was away from home, George had a way of still taking control.
 
On top of all this, George decided we should use our savings to try In Vitro Fertilization. A baby ~ my heart was still longing.
 
I have to say, this is getting harder to put into words. While it might seem like a blip online, this relationship lasted 13 years.
 
We began IVF treatments in Las Vegas. I began taking hormones to increase my egg production. I would drive down to Lake Havasu a few times a week for ultrasounds to see how the eggs were fairing.
 
During this same time, a local publisher who banked with us, came in looking for additional typesetters for her office. I told her I was qualified, and set up an appointment to meet with her.
 
I was quickly hired due to my limited experience typing a local newsletter and my excessive experience playing on computers.
 
Eight eggs became viable, and 2 were fertilized in the Las Vegas clinic. The 2 were inserted, and the anxious wait began. One week later, bloodwork showed I was pregnant. Two weeks later… I waited to hear about the latest bloodwork. And waited. And waited. I was sitting at my desk at my new job, trying to stay focused and positive. George called… both babies were gone. I have never, ever known such absolute sadness. I was hollow.
 
I have to go compose myself now. Love you all. Thank you for reading.
 
The Finale has now been posted.

Jean photo B16123E10292F5D0137E3C112C0110E4_zpsa65858d2.png

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