Sugary Sweet Childhood Fears

Posted on March 27th, 2009 by Jean

Things that frightened me as a child seem laughable as an adult. Thank goodness I matured, and realized what was plausible and what was not. Perhaps that is where childhood fear comes from, thinking that anything is possible.

• SCARY MOVIES •

When I was a child, we used to watch Creature Features. This was a late night television show which aired old black & white films. One movie, The Vulture, was particularly frightening to me. The storyline involved a man who had bird legs. I could have sworn he hid his creepy legs under a blanket while he sat in a wheelchair, but a brief synopsis I read says he wore a large coat. Regardless, at night he would swoop down and prey on innocent victims. Not long after seeing this movie, a huge stork flew over my house, and I would have bet money it was the bird man!


Here he is, visually assaulting the public. Where is his coat now?


• SCARY RIDES •

The Adventure Thru Inner Space ride at Disneyland scared me senseless! It wasn’t the ride itself, but the dread of being disintegrated! Here’s how the ride was described; “While waiting in line, you see other guests enter one end of the Mighty Microscope, appear near the opposite end only a few inches tall, and finally disappear entirely. Now it’s your turn.” WTH? No thanks! I begged and pleaded with my parents not to go on this ride! Even at age 2, I knew I preferred living and breathing over whatever fate awaited me in the “Microscope Of Doom”! Could I talk sense into them? Of course not. It STILL haunts me.


Disney’s *Prepare to Meet Your Maker* ride. Have your signed consent form ready!


Do you have some fears to get off your chest?

Thanks for reading!


Ducks Run Amuk

Posted on March 21st, 2009 by Jean

Spring Break began with promise of sweet adventures! Natalie volunteered to watch the classroom bunny, so Friday afternoon Shakespeare joined our little family.

Saturday morning, I made a big batch of pancakes. Sure, I planned to fill our bellies, but I also wanted to put a pancake on Shakespeare’s head ala this little internet sensation.


The bunny wouldn’t cooperate, but we had all week. Right?

After breakfast, we headed to the local Duck Derby. Tom was recruited to help launch the 5,000 rubber duckies into the Colorado River. This was a charity event which raised $20,000 for The American Cancer Society.

Our first hurdle was waiting for the river to rise enough for the boats to launch. The event was scheduled for 10am, but the water wasn’t high enough until noon. Our second hurdle was agreeing where to dump the duckies. Original instructions declared the pipe line as the dumping zone. We made our way to the pipe line, following a boat carrying a few of the event coordinators. To our surprise, the boat continued up the river, depositing two ladies & two babies off at a beach. The men in the boat yelled for us to dump our duckies here, way up river! Didn’t seem like a good idea, but who were we to argue? In go the duckies!


Tom driving our boatload of ducks.


Aerial of the Colorado River.


The idiot who had a harebrained idea.

Instead of catching the flow to float across the finish line, the ducks swirled towards the Nevada shores, nestling into the tulies and beaching themselves on the sand.

Jet skiers, kayakers and canoeists attempted to herd the wayward duckies towards the Arizona finish line.


Herders (ya, right!)
 
We scooped up about a dozen ducks in a net, and dropped them just upstream of the finish so that winners could be declared. We then spent the next 2 1/2 hours scooping ducks from the river.


Event coordinators are now urging the public to help retrieve ducks from the river. The coast guard has threatened to fine the event hostess, Loretta of Lazy Harry’s Bar & Grill, $50 per duck for littering.


Actual reward is 1 raffle ticket per duck. Prize undetermined.
We would have returned to the river, but we became infected with THE FLU. We have never in our lives been so ill! Although I lost 5 lbs and Tom lost 20, I would not recommend the flu to anyone!

More disappointing than not being able to scoop ducks, is running out of time to put a pancake on Shakespeare’s head!


How was your Spring Break?

Jesus Really DOES Save!

Posted on March 9th, 2009 by Jean

This morning, on Tom’s return trip from dropping Natalie off at school, he was pulled over for speeding. As he was waiting for the officer to do whatever it is officer’s do, Tom noticed something odd in his rear view mirror. “That’s something you don’t see every day”, Tom remarked to the officer. What caught their eye? A man pulling a huge cross along the highway. The cop took one look at Tom and said, “Today’s your lucky day. Now that we’ve seen Jesus, I’m going to let you go with a warning.”

Tom came home with a gleam in his eye, and I immediately knew something was up. Neither of us could believe his luck! But wait! He hadn’t taken a picture! The man couldn’t have gotten far, so Tom grabbed a camera and headed out. Didn’t take Tom long to find him hauling his cross (which conveniently has wheels on the bottom) further into town. Tom pulled over and snapped his photo. The man waved, approached Tom, and said the photo would cost him one dollar.

The two struck up a conversation. Tom is so personable, and apparently so is the man with the cross. Turns out his name is Cross Carrier Chuck, and he has been walking across the United States since 2000. It’s a ten year mission, and at the end of it, he’s going to write a book.

Tom gave C.C. Chuck (and his cross) a ride to Laughlin, and enough money to buy him a decent breakfast at any one of the casinos. Chuck’s next destination is, appropriately enough, Sin City.

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