Long-Winded Picture Survey

Posted on October 20th, 2008 by Jean

1) Do you ever have really good dreams, and then the whole next day, you’re in a really good mood because of that really good dream?
Sure, ya, who doesn’t? Recently I had the oddest dream. Sarah Palin was in an Aerosmith video!

I wish I was making this up!
 
2) What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever seen?
I believe I covered this the other day in the Ex-Tag.
 
3) What’s the last thing you bought at the mall?
I bought Pearl some pink hair color and 2 useless balls.
 

 
4) Got any plans for today?
I plan to finish this glass of wine.
 

I started this blog last night.
 
5) What’s the last thing you ate/drank?
Hello? Does wine ring a bell? Ding, ding, ding!
 
6) What are you listening to?
My kids watching a Spongebob Squarepants cartoon.
 

Am I going to get in trouble for using his image?
Why is he gyrating?

 
7) Do you constantly read any certain magazines? Which ones?
I subscribe to 2 magazines.
 

 
I N T E R M I S S I O N
 
This intermission is brought to you by InStyle’s Hollywood Hair Virtual Make-Over
 

Hmmm…. blonde or brunette?
 
Go have some fun!
 
I N T E R M I S S I O N . . . O V E R


 
8) What’s the last thing you watched on tv?
Does Spongebob ring a bell? Ding, Ding, Ding!
 
9) Describe what’s on the wall nearest to you.
This awesome 5 canvas painting which was one of the first things I bought when I moved to Arizona.
 

 
10) Is your favorite author the author of your favorite book?
Sure, ya.
 

 
11) What are you looking forward to the most?
Lunch with 3 lovely MySpace ladies!
 

 
12) What colors do you see outside?

Remember? I started this last night. This is a long-ass survey! Whew!
 
13) Describe what you wore yesterday.
A FreePeople sundress.
 

Check ’em out!
 
14) Think of the last band you saw live, rate how they performed from 1-10.
I saw a high school marching band on Saturday.
 

I’ll give them a 5.
 
15) What’s the last thing someone bought for you?
Tom bought me a juicy brat at the fair.
 

I’d rate it an 8.
 
16) What’s the last cd you bought?
I’d rather tell you the latest Wii game I bought! Wii Fit!

Why is Tom asleep?
 
17) Is that your favorite cd by that artist?
Ooops! See, now I’ve ruined this question! How ’bout if my favorite artist plays Wii Fit with me?
 

Hula hooping with Eminem.
 
18) What food do you eat the most of?
Lately I’ve been on a soup kick!
 

 
19) What food do you not eat enough of?
It’s not really a food, but I don’t drink enough milk.
 

 

20) Describe someone you find really attractive.
My husband!
 

 

21) If you HAD to look like someone else, but could choose who, who would you choose?
Eva Mendes.
 

 
22) What’s the last thing that made you upset?
Spilt milk… literally.
 

 
23) What’s something you’re proud of yourself for?
Nearly getting through this survey!
 

I’m proud of you too if you’ve made it this far.
 
24) What’s your favorite color crayon?
The red glitter crayon.
 

 
25) How do you wear your hair on a normal day?
Just like you see it.
 
26) Think of your favorite band… if you got to talk to ONE person from that band, who would it be, and why them?
Again with the band question? I don’t think Eminem has a band.
 
27) Do you wear any rings on a regular basis? What are they like? Do they mean anything special?
They mean I’m married.
 

With children.
 
28) If you had to get a piercing right now, what would it be?
I’ll tell ya what you can pierce. My Salad Creations punch card!
 

 
29) Have you ever seen someone get a tattoo done? If so, what was it? Did they cry or were they in a lot of pain?
Yes, I’ve been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.
 

Am I finished? What day is it?
 
You will have admiration and mega kudos if you self-tag. This survey is a BEAST!

Beware the Free Pilates Class

Posted on October 14th, 2008 by Jean

Natalie’s school offers free pilates classes on Monday evenings. We ventured over there last night to partake.

The intimate class was comprised of the instructor, her 3 year old daughter (Ali), a 5 year old student (Reagan), me and my girls.

What the Instructor Said:
Class, lay down on your mats and we shall begin warming up.

What the Children Heard:
Natalie, lay down on your side and look bored. Please strike this pose for 30 minutes.
Pearl, good effort!
Ali, now is the time to bend your mat up to your nose and give it a good sniff. Don’t stop yet! Sniff your mat for 20 minutes.
Reagan, do not listen to anything I say, and make as much noise as humanly possible.

What the Instructor Said:
Pose like dogs, and try to find your tail.

What the Children Heard:
You are ferocious dogs who must attack! Pearl-dog, head-butt your sister. It is the only way we can all get out of class early!

What the Instructor Said:
Now make your back straight, like a table.

What the Children Heard:
Reagan, get a cup and put it on my back. I’ll demonstrate what a table really looks like.

What the Instructor Said:
Fold up like a bug, and roll onto your back. Now roll back up to the starting position.

What I Heard:
Jean, I’m going to kill you. Fold up like a bug, roll onto your back, and lay there helpless.

What the Instructor Said:
Let’s stand up and do some dance moves.

What the Children Heard:
Reagan, this is going to be complicated. First, I need you to stand next to me and remind me to breath. Then, wander around the room on tippy-toes because I did mention something about dance moves. Now, do you see those folded mats over there? Try to balance on them. I know, it looks risky, huh? Well, you’ll do it anyway.
Natalie, continue to cry. Really, class will end right after this dance move.
Ali, stand on my feet. The closer to me, the better for me to demonstrate this move.
Pearl, sit next to your sister and make a pouty face.

What the Instructor Said:
Class dismissed.

What I Heard:
What a fiasco, huh? So…. will I see you next week?


Thanks for reading!

Diets ~ What Works?

Posted on October 11th, 2008 by Jean

Forty-three must be the magic number. Used to be, I could eat any ol’ thing. Now? My foods of choice are clinging to my mid-section for all the world to see.
 

 
Changing Food Habits
When I was growing up, I literally got fruit once a year. Santa brought it. Stuffed it in my stocking. How do I change that eating habit? I told hubby I like green bananas. What does he do? He buys six. Six green bananas. Even if (that’s a big if) I eat one a day, by week’s end they’re turning brown. Natalie tells me I need Debbie Meyer’s Green Bags. Ha! Out of the mouths of babes.
 
Changing Routines
Speaking of Natalie, with her starting school this year, I barely wake up in time to see her off. You know that list-tag that’s going around? List 6 things you do before bed? How ’bout 6 things you do in the morning?
1. Wake up.
2. Sex? Yes, please.
3. Get out of bed.
4. Make Natalie’s lunch.
5. Comb Natalie’s hair.
6. Get Natalie dressed.
Time’s up!
 
My routine used to be 1) same 2) same 3) same 4) make coffee 5) read blogs 6) get on treadmill. (I miss that routine.)
 
Diets
I bought the Bob Green book, The Best Life Diet. Do you know what he says? Don’t read this book until you’re ready to diet. So… I sat that aside.
 
I had great success with the Slim-Fast website, until they tried to revamp it. Now, instead of being able to view your entire week’s meals, you can only view the current day’s meals. Pfffffttt!!!
 
You know who else gets a raspberry? Nutri-System.
 
Four reasons I hate Nutri-system:
1. The food tastes like dog food.
2. It doesn’t include everything I need. Where’s my bread, fruits and vegetables?
3. Where’s the chocolate you promised me?
4. I didn’t lose weight.
 
SparkPeople held my interest for a little while. I pledged allegiance to the free diet plan, but soon I wasn’t even signing in to spin their wheel.
 
So… What works for you, and what gets the Golden Raspberry?
 

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