How A Giraffe Led Me To The World’s Sexiest Toilet Paper
Posted on November 19th, 2013 by JeanMy youngest daughter and I were recently browsing giraffe photos (yes, because of that Facebook riddle), when we spied these amazing photos of Giraffe Manor.

Incredible, right? The Giraffe Manor website, which has since been redesigned, sucked us in. We couldn’t get enough! At that time, they offered a Virtual Tour (access has been removed from their site, but I’m sharing the direct link). Each room in the manor is beautifully decorated; suites named Betty, Marlon, Jock and Karen epitomize luxury & opulence.
In Betty’s bathroom, we spied something most peculiar, most desirable. Can you see it?

Up until that moment, we had no idea black toilet paper even existed. Thus began our quest for the black toilet paper!
RENOVA are the makers of the World’s Sexiest Toilet Paper… no lie! Created in Portugal, this luxury item is used by celebs Simon Cowell and Kris Kardashian. The colors aren’t the only stand-out feature of this paper. It is also triple-ply!
I found it. Now, how to get it? Shipping fees from Portugal are high (outrageously so). At $4.00 per roll before shipping, I couldn’t afford an industrial supply.
Bravo’s Shah’s of Sunset were having a contest on Facebook, “Overstated Is Underrated”. They asked viewers to pose with something plain that could use an overstated upgrade. Most posed with rings, shoes, and purses. Not me. I posed with a roll of white toilet paper pressed against my cheek. My face cheek! Good Lord!
My entry was accepted, but I didn’t win. On with my quest to obtain the black, sexy, toilet paper. How sexy would my bathroom look? How much would the triple-ply protect my hand? I had to know!
Thank you ebay: 2 weeks and $14.75 later, the sexy t.p. arrived. I was out at the time. Tom texted me a photo of our eldest daughter holding the t.p. I warned them not to use it, but they replied, “Too late”.
Too late?! Really?!
Thankfully, they were kidding. I was able to hold my delivery, take photos of our new arrival, scan the QR code, slice open the package, inhale the floral scent, feel the….. okay, it feels like a napkin. Not soft, not quilted. Don’t get me wrong. We still are using it (still on our first roll), and yes it is some damn fine (sexy?) paper, but I wouldn’t order it again. My quest was fulfilled, and it was fun.

• Would you buy, use, or give the gift of colorful toilet paper?





Comment By: Sherri @ The Kitchen Prescription
November 20th, 2013 at 6:32 am
OMG! Who knew!? I love your stories Jean, they always have an interesting twist. Congrats on your entry being accepted! Wish you would have won!
I probably would never purchase colored paper unless Charmin or Cottonelle began selling it. Especially, since you said it feels like a napkin! I really have spoiled myself with the moist wipes though!
Comment By: Jean
November 20th, 2013 at 8:19 am
Thanks, Sherri!
I wish I would have won too. Bet those Shahs would have sent me a butt-load (no pun intended). LOL!
I have a hard time even blowing my nose with this black tp. The texture is odd.
Moist wipes! Hmmm…. may have to try those! Thanks for the tip!
Comment By: Le Brooks
November 20th, 2013 at 6:49 am
You went from Giraffe Manor to toilet paper?
No wonder I enjoy reading your blogs, haha!
I like the toilet paper that looks like money.
Comment By: Jean
November 20th, 2013 at 8:18 am
See how I did that? LOL! This has to be the ultimate shopping story.
Thanks, Lee! I enjoy reading your blogs too. I need to swing over and comment on how you nearly blew off your hand with your first gun. Geez!
Comment By: Ron
November 20th, 2013 at 9:15 am
OMG, I LOVE this post, Jean!!!!
I clicked over on the Virtual Tour and had a blast looking at all the various rooms. And btw, I adore giraffe’s because they have the most precious face! And WOW…what a stunning place that Manor is!
“Not me. I posed with a roll of white toilet paper pressed against my cheek. My face cheek! Good Lord!”
Bwhahahahhaha! I wish I had seen the photo of you because that’s sounds like something I would do.
Love all the colorful toilet paper Renova offers. I had no idea tp like that even existed?!? I’m kinda boring when it comes to tp, I use plain old Scotts.
And speaking of ‘rough’ tp, the roughest tp I have ever used was when I lived in Europe (Amsterdam) for a summer. OMG..their tp feels like sandpaper, I kid you not!
Fabulously funny and informative post, Jean!
Loved it!
Comment By: Jean
November 20th, 2013 at 6:41 pm
Thank you, Ron!! I’m so glad you clicked on the virtual tour! Sounds like you were as enthralled as we were. Giraffe’s are so darling.
Your selfies are way better than mine, and I can picture you with a roll pressed to your cheek too! LOL!
I can’t believe those Europeans haven’t figured out soft tp. Ouch!!
Thank you so much. I love it when you stop by.
Comment By: Ron
November 27th, 2013 at 11:02 am
Hi Jean!
Just wanted to stop by to wish you and your family a Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow!
Have an awesome day, my friend!
Comment By: Ingrid
November 20th, 2013 at 1:16 pm
Too funny….from giraffes to colored toilet paper. I think I’ll stick with my Quilted Northern…easy on my budget and bum 🙂
Comment By: Jean
November 20th, 2013 at 6:38 pm
Quilted Northern, ahhhhh yes!
Comment By: catherine gacad
November 20th, 2013 at 3:32 pm
i want to go to giraffe manor!!!
Comment By: Jean
November 20th, 2013 at 6:37 pm
Me too, Catherine! 🙂
Comment By: elle sees
November 22nd, 2013 at 7:48 am
i thought it was the reflection in the mirror making it look black! regardless, black toilet paper is very chic! i remember when toilet paper was colored as a kid!
Comment By: Jean
December 13th, 2013 at 9:39 am
Hi Elle! There was colored tp when you were little? I was oblivious!
Loving your pics of Charlie Brown. My daughters always want to see him too.
Happy Holidays!
Comment By: Angie
November 26th, 2013 at 9:53 am
I am so glad you posted this! I was dying to know when you posted the photo of the black toilet paper … what an awesome story that led you to this 🙂 PS – I want to go to Giraffe Manor too!
Comment By: Jean
December 13th, 2013 at 9:38 am
Angie, thank you for coming by to learn about the black tp! LOL! Glad I didn’t disappoint. Happy Holidays!
Comment By: Jayda
November 28th, 2013 at 9:39 pm
First of all, I want to go to Giraffe Manor!! So awesome 🙂 And of course second, THAT TOILET PAPER! I bought pink toilet paper once (it was a breast cancer fundraiser) and it was just the coolest. Black would be even cooler.
Comment By: Jean
December 13th, 2013 at 9:32 am
I want to go to Giraffe Manor too! What an insanely cool place!
Pink toilet paper would be so pretty!
Sorry I haven’t been around lately, but I’ll be right over!
Comment By: Rach
December 5th, 2013 at 11:53 am
Haha! How fun! I love that you made such an effort to find it! What a fun story!
Comment By: Jean
December 12th, 2013 at 7:27 pm
Thank you, Rach! Sorry for my recent absence. I’ll be right over! 😀
Comment By: eric gray buffalo ny
February 3rd, 2014 at 11:35 am
This design is incredible! You most certainly know how to keep a reader amused.
Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well,
almost…HaHa!) Excellent job. I really loved what you
had to say, and more than that, how you presented it.
Too cool!
Comment By: Jean
February 4th, 2014 at 8:00 pm
Thanks, Eric! You DO have your own blog. Congrats on baby Gray’s imminent arrival.