How A Giraffe Led Me To The World’s Sexiest Toilet Paper

Posted on November 19th, 2013 by Jean

My youngest daughter and I were recently browsing giraffe photos (yes, because of that Facebook riddle), when we spied these amazing photos of Giraffe Manor.

Giraffe Manor

Incredible, right? The Giraffe Manor website, which has since been redesigned, sucked us in. We couldn’t get enough! At that time, they offered a  Virtual Tour (access has been removed from their site, but I’m sharing the direct link). Each room in the manor is beautifully decorated; suites named Betty, Marlon, Jock and Karen epitomize luxury & opulence.

In Betty’s bathroom, we spied something most peculiar, most desirable. Can you see it?

Bettys Bathroom collage

Up until that moment, we had no idea black toilet paper even existed. Thus began our quest for the black toilet paper!

Renova colorsRENOVA are the makers of the World’s Sexiest Toilet Paper… no lie! Created in Portugal, this luxury item is used by celebs Simon Cowell and Kris Kardashian. The colors aren’t the only stand-out feature of this paper. It is also triple-ply!

I found it. Now, how to get it? Shipping fees from Portugal are high (outrageously so).  At $4.00 per roll before shipping, I couldn’t afford an industrial supply.

Bravo’s Shah’s of Sunset were having a contest on Facebook, “Overstated Is Underrated”. They asked viewers to pose with something plain that could use an overstated upgrade. Most posed with rings, shoes, and purses. Not me. I posed with a roll of white toilet paper pressed against my cheek. My face cheek! Good Lord!

My entry was accepted, but I didn’t win. On with my quest to obtain the black, sexy, toilet paper. How sexy would my bathroom look? How much would the triple-ply protect my hand? I had to know!

Thank you ebay: 2 weeks and $14.75 later, the sexy t.p. arrived.  I was out at the time. Tom texted me a photo of our eldest daughter holding the t.p. I warned them not to use it, but they replied, “Too late”.

Too late?! Really?!

Thankfully, they were kidding. I was able to hold my delivery, take photos of our new arrival, scan the QR code, slice open the package, inhale the floral scent, feel the….. okay, it feels like a napkin. Not soft, not quilted. Don’t get me wrong. We still are using it (still on our first roll), and yes it is some damn fine (sexy?) paper, but I wouldn’t order it again. My quest was fulfilled, and it was fun.

black tp collage

• Would you buy, use, or give the gift of colorful toilet paper?

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