Insomnia Notes + Pimp Zone

Posted on May 2nd, 2009 by Jean

3:00 o’clock in the morning, I’m jolted awake by large viking wielding an axe in my dining room. I hop out of bed, heading to the kitchen to make sure it was all just a dream. There’s no sign of him. Maybe I woke too soon. Who’s to say a viking dream is bad?

I wonder how my virtual crops are doing? I’m a farmer on Facebook. Do real farmers lie awake at night, wondering how their crops are doing? I was (virtually) devastated when my (virtual) grapes died on the vine.

If sharting is shit + farting, what’s peeing when you sneeze? Peez? Sneed?

Speaking of Facebook applications, my daughters love to sprinkle fairy dust on my friends. I always type a little note to accompany the sprinkling. “I love you. I love to sprinkle you.” — signed Pearl (4) and Natalie (6). Jean (43) doesn’t do too much sprinkling or writing of the mushy notes.

Have you been to VideoJug.com? Here’s just a sampling of the videos they offer.


Life Explained ~ On Film

I wouldn’t be surprised if they explained how to boil water. I’d like to submit a video. Maybe a photoshop tip or a makeup tip for women over 40. I was mesmerized one evening while a woman showed me how to apply eyeshadow like Britney Spears. At least she wasn’t teaching me how to cut my hair like Britney.

The Britney Eye (clickable link).

Pimp Zone

If you have not already had the pleasure of reading Amylicious, run, don’t walk, to her blog. Here’s one I found particularly hilarious: Buzz Kill.

Amy just recently launched a blog outside of MySpace. You can find it here: Amy’s Musings.

Have a fantastic weekend, and thanks for reading!

Tags: amylicious, britney, facebook, funny, Humor, insomnia, notes, pimp, Video

Sugary Sweet Childhood Fears

Posted on March 27th, 2009 by Jean

Things that frightened me as a child seem laughable as an adult. Thank goodness I matured, and realized what was plausible and what was not. Perhaps that is where childhood fear comes from, thinking that anything is possible.

When I was a child, we used to watch Creature Features. This was a late night television show which aired old black & white films. One movie, The Vulture, was particularly frightening to me. The storyline involved a man who had bird legs. I could have sworn he hid his creepy legs under a blanket while he sat in a wheelchair, but a brief synopsis I read says he wore a large coat. Regardless, at night he would swoop down and prey on innocent victims. Not long after seeing this movie, a huge stork flew over my house, and I would have bet money it was the bird man!

The Adventure Thru Inner Space ride at Disneyland scared me senseless! It wasn’t the ride itself, but the dread of being disintegrated! Here’s how the ride was described; “While waiting in line, you see other guests enter one end of the Mighty Microscope, appear near the opposite end only a few inches tall, and finally disappear entirely. Now it’s your turn.” WTH? No thanks! I begged and pleaded with my parents not to go on this ride! Even at age 2, I knew I preferred living and breathing over whatever fate awaited me in the “Microscope Of Doom”! Could I talk sense into them? Of course not. It STILL haunts me.

Do you have some fears to get off your chest?

Tags: creature, disneyland, fears, funny, Humor, movies, rides, Scary

Jesus Really DOES Save!

Posted on March 9th, 2009 by Jean

This morning, on Tom’s return trip from dropping Natalie off at school, he was pulled over for speeding. As he was waiting for the officer to do whatever it is officer’s do, Tom noticed something odd in his rear view mirror. “That’s something you don’t see every day”, Tom remarked to the officer. What caught their eye? A man pulling a huge cross along the highway. The cop took one look at Tom and said, “Today’s your lucky day. Now that we’ve seen Jesus, I’m going to let you go with a warning.”

Tom gave C.C. Chuck (and his cross) a ride to Laughlin, and enough money to buy him a decent breakfast at any one of the casinos. Chuck’s next destination is, appropriately enough, Sin City.

Tags: Chuck, Cross, funny, Humor, Jesus, Saves, Ticket