Oh Danny Boy!

Posted on May 4th, 2008 by Jean

Dan, aka Danny-Boy, is a guy that helps us around the house. He is a jack of all trades. He paints, weeds, cleans the horse pens, cleans the fountain, re-stains the patio furniture. You name it, he does it. We pay him in cash with a few beers and sometimes lunch thrown in for good measure.
 
A few months ago, Danny-Boy was standing on a street corner, minding his own business, when a K9 Patrol car drove past him. The dog *hit* on a doobie in Danny-Boy’s pocket.
 

 
Talk about your bad luck. Danny-Boy was fined and sent on his merry way.
 
Fast forward to Friday night. Danny-Boy was riding his bicycle, and was pulled over for running a stop sign.
 

 
Since Danny-Boy hadn’t paid his previous fine, he was placed in a pod for 60 days.
 
When I heard the word pod, I thought of a moving/storage pod.
 

 
That would be cruel and unusual.
 
I guess a pod is like a holding cell.
 
So, on July 4th, when you’re looking up at the fireworks, think of our friend Danny-Boy who will have just been released.
 

Tags: doobie, jail, luck, pod, pot, weed

Blogging Notes 6

Posted on April 26th, 2008 by Jean

This weekend marks the 26th Annual Laughlin River Run, an event which draws an estimated 60,000 motorcyclists to our area.
 

 
We haven’t ventured over to partake because Pearl has an earache & fever, plus the winds have been howling.
 
Speaking of motorcycles, I once had my driver’s license picture taken while sporting helmet hair.
 

 
Yep, husband 2, that bastard, had the bright idea we should take his motorcycle to the DMV.
 

 
My Mom’s home remedy for earaches was melted butter.
 

 
Melt the butter in a saucepan (we didn’t have microwaves back in my day), and pour directly in the ear canal. Cap with a cotton ball.
 
I googled this, and sure enough, it is an old remedy! Right along side blowing cigar smoke in one’s ear, or heating a brick and resting your head on it.
 
Do you have any home remedies to pass down?
 

 
My daughter, Natalie, loves to google images! In fact, she’s the one who taught me.
 
Natalie-ism:
 
Natalie: Mom, spell Barbie.
 
Me: B-A-R-B-I-E
 
Natalie: Mom, spell games.
 
Me: G-A-M-E-S
 
Natalie: Mom, spell balls.
 

 
Houston, we have a problem!

Tags: Blog, blogging, google, kids, laughlin, notes, remedy

Blogging Notes 5

Posted on April 17th, 2008 by Jean

I once had a kisser who would scrape his tongue on my top teeth.
 
I use a tongue-scraper daily, so I know the gunk that comes off one’s tongue.
 

 
YUCK!
 
Did you ever experience a bad kisser?
 

 
I was listening to Blue Collar Radio. Ray Romano came on and talked about sex after twins. He and his wife now have sex every 3 months. Afterwards, he pays his quarterly taxes. If it’s oral, he renews his driver’s license.
 
In Arizona, our DLs are good for twenty five years!
 

 

 

 
Pearl: Mom, Dad says where’s the camel.
 
Me: Camel?
 
Pearl: No. Camel.
 
Me: Camel?
 
Pearl: Dad says it’s stinky in here.
 
Me: Oh!.
 

(Candle.)
 

 
When I first signed up for MySpace, I would browse the blogs and subscribe to those that seemed interesting (kind of like now, but without word of mouth because I was so new).
 
I subscribed to a Make-Up Blog, and was promptly shunned.
 

 
That particular blogger wouldn’t reply to my questions or comments. Just jumped over my comment and proceeded to the next subscriber.
 
If I ever skip over your comment, it’s unintentional. You may publicly flog me… or just remind me of my brain fart.
 

Tags: kids, kiss, MySpace, Ray Romano, snob, tongue