My Life – Part 4

Posted on March 16th, 2008 by Jean

My Life ~ Part 1
My Life ~ Part 2
My Life ~ Part 3


My Life ~ Part 4
 
I began my new job as a bank teller in the town I now call home. I was excited to be around people, and anticipated making friends and getting out of my depressing funk.
 
One of the ladies I worked with, Stephanie, was a whole lot of fun! We enjoyed eachother’s company, and even managed to go shopping together one weekend.
 
Stephanie had a playful way about her, and must have grown up being physical, because she managed to bruise my arm a few times with a poke or a sock. When George happened to see the bruise on my arm, that was the end of that. He bullied me for 45 minutes until I called my supervisor to report the *assault*. The next day, while I was at work, the Bank President requested a conference call with the Bank Manager, Stephanie and me. George had gone over everyone’s head to report this *assault* to the President. We three ladies were stunned, and ashamed. Stephanie actually ran from the building in tears. Not only was our friendship over, but the wheels were turning that one, or both, of us should find a new job.
 
I think this is part of the control issue. Although I was away from home, George had a way of still taking control.
 
On top of all this, George decided we should use our savings to try In Vitro Fertilization. A baby ~ my heart was still longing.
 
I have to say, this is getting harder to put into words. While it might seem like a blip online, this relationship lasted 13 years.
 
We began IVF treatments in Las Vegas. I began taking hormones to increase my egg production. I would drive down to Lake Havasu a few times a week for ultrasounds to see how the eggs were fairing.
 
During this same time, a local publisher who banked with us, came in looking for additional typesetters for her office. I told her I was qualified, and set up an appointment to meet with her.
 
I was quickly hired due to my limited experience typing a local newsletter and my excessive experience playing on computers.
 
Eight eggs became viable, and 2 were fertilized in the Las Vegas clinic. The 2 were inserted, and the anxious wait began. One week later, bloodwork showed I was pregnant. Two weeks later… I waited to hear about the latest bloodwork. And waited. And waited. I was sitting at my desk at my new job, trying to stay focused and positive. George called… both babies were gone. I have never, ever known such absolute sadness. I was hollow.
 
I have to go compose myself now. Love you all. Thank you for reading.
 
The Finale has now been posted.

My Life – Part 4

Posted on March 16th, 2008 by Jean

My Life ~ Part 1
My Life ~ Part 2
My Life ~ Part 3


My Life ~ Part 4
 
I began my new job as a bank teller in the town I now call home. I was excited to be around people, and anticipated making friends and getting out of my depressing funk.
 
One of the ladies I worked with, Stephanie, was a whole lot of fun! We enjoyed eachother’s company, and even managed to go shopping together one weekend.
 
Stephanie had a playful way about her, and must have grown up being physical, because she managed to bruise my arm a few times with a poke or a sock. When George happened to see the bruise on my arm, that was the end of that. He bullied me for 45 minutes until I called my supervisor to report the *assault*. The next day, while I was at work, the Bank President requested a conference call with the Bank Manager, Stephanie and me. George had gone over everyone’s head to report this *assault* to the President. We three ladies were stunned, and ashamed. Stephanie actually ran from the building in tears. Not only was our friendship over, but the wheels were turning that one, or both, of us should find a new job.
 
I think this is part of the control issue. Although I was away from home, George had a way of still taking control.
 
On top of all this, George decided we should use our savings to try In Vitro Fertilization. A baby ~ my heart was still longing.
 
I have to say, this is getting harder to put into words. While it might seem like a blip online, this relationship lasted 13 years.
 
We began IVF treatments in Las Vegas. I began taking hormones to increase my egg production. I would drive down to Lake Havasu a few times a week for ultrasounds to see how the eggs were fairing.
 
During this same time, a local publisher who banked with us, came in looking for additional typesetters for her office. I told her I was qualified, and set up an appointment to meet with her.
 
I was quickly hired due to my limited experience typing a local newsletter and my excessive experience playing on computers.
 
Eight eggs became viable, and 2 were fertilized in the Las Vegas clinic. The 2 were inserted, and the anxious wait began. One week later, bloodwork showed I was pregnant. Two weeks later… I waited to hear about the latest bloodwork. And waited. And waited. I was sitting at my desk at my new job, trying to stay focused and positive. George called… both babies were gone. I have never, ever known such absolute sadness. I was hollow.
 
I have to go compose myself now. Love you all. Thank you for reading.
 
The Finale has now been posted.

My Life – Part 3

Posted on March 15th, 2008 by Jean

My Life ~ Part 1

My Life ~ Part 2
 
This is it, Part 3. This is so difficult for me to write, but I started the story and must continue.
 
After 2 years living on the road, George realized we would never own a home again unless he returned to work.
 
At this time, a few airport towers were being managed by civilians. George was accepted as an employee at the tower in Appleton, Wisconsin.
 
We rented a U-Haul truck, got all of our furniture out of storage, put George’s car on the tow-dolly, and we headed down the road. I drove the motorhome across country, from California to Wisconsin, and he drove the rental truck.
 
In Appleton, we put the RV in storage, and rented an apartment. George worked, and I stayed home. I was isolated. True, I had been isolated on the road, but here I was totally stranded. I was depressed. I rarely got dressed, and spent most the day on the couch, curled up with my cat.
 
I also began having the desire to become a mom.
 
My husband flew back to Sacramento and reversed his vasectomy. He didn’t want to become a father again at this stage of his life, but if I wanted to be a mother, he would help.
 
We tried, for a full year, to no avail.
 
The year was up in Wisconsin, and we were transferred to Bullhead City, Arizona. Yes, we’d do 1 year of cold weather if we could then transfer to a hot climate.
 
George worked, and I sat in our motorhome at an RV park. My only friend in this town was one of George’s co-workers, Gita. Boy did we have some fun! But Gita had to go on to bigger & better things (hello, San Diego).
 
George and I bought a manufactured home in a small, rural town about 20 miles south of Bullhead. Just a few months into our house payments, George was fired for insubordination. He had falsified his time cards, and refused to follow his boss’s orders. Days prior to his termination, his boss had told him to no longer carry his gun onto the airport property. I think his boss knew he had a short fuse too.
 
So, here we are with a mortgage. Now what?
 
I returned to the workforce.
 
This was my saving grace, getting back out into public.
 
I was quickly hired as a bank teller in town. While I worked, George sat at home. With no job, he began each day with brandy & wine again.
 
My Life ~ Part 4

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