I Fake It ~ Do You?

Posted on June 20th, 2009 by Jean

I’m boycotting Nerds. You shouldn’t need a shopvac to clean up a candy spill.

Make sure you specify Nerd Candy when you google. Otherwise your retnas will be burned by this:

Speaking of candy, our neighbor kicked his *substance-abusing* girlfriend out again. He gave us her huge bag of assorted Dove chocolates plus an industrial-size box of chocolate liquors. Is it wrong to eat a banished crack-whore’s chocolates?

One of my exes used to make goulash. I’m thankful that I will never eat it again. You know those meals that you fake/enjoy? Maybe I’m the only one. I can’t think of a meal Tom cooks that I fake/enjoy, but I’m starting to think he fake/enjoys my cheesy hashbrowns. I saw his full serving (plus the leftovers) in the trash. He’s the one that suggested I melt cheese on top. Cheese helps everything…. except for my hashbrowns apparently.   

I’ve been thinking of my next videoblog. Not a tutorial, but my impersonations of Spongebob, Patrick and Squidward. I might even throw in Sandy the Squirrel. What if my impersonations are way off? Will you tell me if I suck, or will you fake/enjoy it?   

How are you spending this fine Father’s Day weekend?

Thanks for reading!

Tags: candy, exes, fake, funny, nerds, spongebob, Video

San Diego Vacation – Day 3

Posted on July 26th, 2008 by Jean

Before heading home, we decided to visit the Wild Animal Park.
 
First stop, the Conservation Carousel.
 

Did I mention I forgot to put on sunscreen?
 
We were lucky to see a family of coots. Perhaps you’re familiar with all 3 stages.
 

 
In the Petting Kraal we were able to approach several deer species.
 

Tom managed to pet the deer without spilling a drop of beer.
 
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
 

 
I’m not sure of the correlation between Wild Animals and SpongeBob, but we donned our 4-D glasses for a really cool motion ride!
 

 
The movie took us on a journey to the bottom of the sea to snatch a wayward pickle. Let me tell you, being sprayed with pickle juice at the finale, well that was the icing on the spongecake!
 
Here is a beautiful gorilla that walked off after a man in the crowd wouldn’t stop barking.
 

 
We viewed these stunning macaws in the aviary.
 

 
We finally arrived at the Journey Into Africa Tour, a 2.5 mile (4 kilometer) tram ride.
 

 
Many wild animals roamed relatively free, while others had secluded habitats.
 

Cheetah was not roaming free.
 
The tram ride ends at Lion Camp. Look at this gorgeous fellow taking a siesta!
 
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After seeing the wild animals, there was only 1 thing left to do: buy souvenirs!
 

Anybody have a carseat for a giraffe?
 
That concludes our San Diego trip. Thanks so much for coming along!

Tags: 3-D, 4-D, Africa, animal, beer, camp, carousel, coot, deer, journey, lion, park, San Diego, spongebob, tour, trip, vacation, wild