Friday Flip Offs

Posted on August 27th, 2010 by Jean

Friday Flip Offs is the brainchild of my friend, Kludgy Mom. It’s my pleasure to take part this week.
 
To my husband, flip off! I can no longer store the cocktail glasses you are intent on collecting from casinos. Our cabinets overfloweth. Did we really need the complete set of Fat Tire glasses? Or the Dos Equis ones? We don’t even drink those beers!
 
To my housekeeper, flip off! That might seem insensitive, especially since you are recovering from a heart attack, but why can’t you return my calls? I am calling to see how you are doing, not to lament over my filthy house. Are you feeling better? Put your feet up. (Call me.)
 
To the lady in line behind me yesterday at The Cupcakery, flip off! I wanted to try that orange julius variety, but not after you told everyone (ok, maybe just your friend) how disgusting the flavor was, and how it didn’t sit right with you. I couldn’t bring myself to order it with you eavesdropping behind me.
 
To the sudden burst of wind and rain in Vegas yesterday, flip off! My gawd, couldn’t you see I just had my hair done? You tousled it every which way and back. Not to mention the show you forced me to give as you got all up in my wrap-around dress. Geez Louise, you suck.
 
• Who or what are you flipping off today?

How To: Raise Hams

Posted on November 16th, 2009 by Jean

“Come on, Tom. It’ll be fun!”, I pleaded. “It’s just you and me. I’ll set up my camera, and you grab your meat, all nine pounds of it.”

Fits of laughter.

“Ok, I’ll take my big cannon and show you who’s boss.” Tom cajoled.

More laughter and innuendo.

The buzz of the evening wore off, but the playful conversation lingered in my head. Was he ready for his close up? Yes, actually he was. While I set up the tripod, he cleared the counter and set up an array of spices and secret ingredients for we were making an instructional video. Not the type Carrie Prejean would record but an honest to goodness How To video for making jerky.

I should call him One Take Tom for he could expound on the subject without missing a beat. It was hard to decide what should fall to the cutting room floor, or be deleted via iMovie. He’s my husband, and I felt a bit guilty omitting recorded episodes of meat grinding, salt sprinkling, and the tearing open of hot pepper packets. But cut I did, and replaced with photos overlaid with text. Even with all the snips, the video runs nearly seven minutes long. I’ll post the YouTube link below for those interested in jerking their meat.

With Mommy and Daddy making videos, it seemed natural when my seven year old asked to record her recipe for a soda drink. She wrote down her ingredients, sending Tom to the store for more Diet Coke. She had plenty of Pepsis which are on hand for guests. Her little sister was her lovely assistant, nodding her head and chiming in at just the right moment. I think my girls had a lot of presence for seven and four. Who else but a child would combine the two powerhouses of cola?

• Coke or Pepsi?
• Carrie Prejean, Donald Trump, or Perez Hilton?
• Behind the camera or in front of it?

Tom’s YouTube debut! How To: Make Elk Jerky

How To: Raise Hams

Posted on November 16th, 2009 by Jean

“Come on, Tom. It’ll be fun!”, I pleaded. “It’s just you and me. I’ll set up my camera, and you grab your meat, all nine pounds of it.”

Fits of laughter.

“Ok, I’ll take my big cannon and show you who’s boss.” Tom cajoled.

More laughter and innuendo.

The buzz of the evening wore off, but the playful conversation lingered in my head. Was he ready for his close up? Yes, actually he was. While I set up the tripod, he cleared the counter and set up an array of spices and secret ingredients for we were making an instructional video. Not the type Carrie Prejean would record but an honest to goodness How To video for making jerky.

I should call him One Take Tom for he could expound on the subject without missing a beat. It was hard to decide what should fall to the cutting room floor, or be deleted via iMovie. He’s my husband, and I felt a bit guilty omitting recorded episodes of meat grinding, salt sprinkling, and the tearing open of hot pepper packets. But cut I did, and replaced with photos overlaid with text. Even with all the snips, the video runs nearly seven minutes long. I’ll post the YouTube link below for those interested in jerking their meat.

With Mommy and Daddy making videos, it seemed natural when my seven year old asked to record her recipe for a soda drink. She wrote down her ingredients, sending Tom to the store for more Diet Coke. She had plenty of Pepsis which are on hand for guests. Her little sister was her lovely assistant, nodding her head and chiming in at just the right moment. I think my girls had a lot of presence for seven and four. Who else but a child would combine the two powerhouses of cola?

• Coke or Pepsi?
• Carrie Prejean, Donald Trump, or Perez Hilton?
• Behind the camera or in front of it?

Tom’s YouTube debut! How To: Make Elk Jerky

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